Wow! How time flies. I can hardly believe that Thanksgiving is over and Christmas is here. What a wonderful time of year! To celebrate the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ. I know for many it is a very sad time, being without those we love. I hope that the joy of Jesus' birth, the reason for the season can bring warmth, happiness, peace and joy to you this season! We are in full swing preparing for Christmas. The stockings are hung, manger scene is up, Christmas tree decorated, house decorated and packages mailed to out of state family. I am so excited for Christmas this year as I feel so much better and seem to be a little ahead. I know, ahead at Christmas, probably not! But, I have tricked myself into believing I am ahead. Our church has a wonderful Christmas program I attended Weds. to really get into the spirit. The next few weeks are filled with parties and luncheons. We are going to Gainesville tomorrow night for Cortney's department party. Spencer, Sydney and Brogan all have parties next week in their classes. Cortney has a luncheon at his Ft. Pierce office next week as well. So, I guess we will eat and party right up to Christmas day. I hope this e-mail finds everyone doing fabulous. Love to you all.

By the way, the 1st Annual John Assante Brain Aneurysm Awareness Walk was a great success. We met John's beautiful family and greatly enjoyed the day. We look forward to attending the walk for many years.

Holly

September is Brain Aneurysm Awareness Month!! Log on to www.bafound.org to learn the facts and make a donation.
School is back in full swing. Spencer is doing great and is reading like a champ. He has several of his good buddies in his class and really loves school. Sydney, my little kindergartener, is loving school. She has such an awesome teacher and stays so busy. When she gets home from school in the afternoon she is like a zombie. The days are long and hard on her but she doesn't mind. I remember the day when you only had 1/2 day kindergarten and Spencer took naps in kindergarten. No so these days. Brogan is enrolled at the same preschool as last year. It is only 2 short mornings a week but just enough for him to have some social interaction. He loves to visit Spencer and Sydney at school and their teachers are great about him being around.

Cortney left today for a World Aquaculture Society meeting in VeraCruz, Mexico. He will be gone for 7 nights. My work load will increase with the three kids but the nights are going to be quiet and peaceful.

Well, that's about it for now. I will update soon. I will be attending the 1st Annual John Assante Memorial Aneurysm walk in Boca Raton this weekend. I look forward to meeting other survivors!

Peace and Love!

I am not sure there is anyone in my blog world, it has been so long. The summer has been soooo busy that I have neglected my on-line duty of keeping everyone informed :) But, for those of you who may be sticking with me, here we go......

I guess my last post was just after seeing the doctor for my one year check-up. It is amazing the healing that God provides during a year. It is also so strange how I seemed to rapidly improve once I hit the one year mark. Is is that I am really that much better overnight or just so thankful to know I actually lived another year, that things seem to be easier? I am not sure but Praise God for standing right beside me through it all and lifting me up over and over again throughout the past year. I still have occasional weird symptoms, but have learned to live with them and not have anxiety over whether they should be occuring or not. I am more physically active today than I was before the surgery. I am going to be starting a two week "boot camp" next week, hosted by a fitness friend who wants to help a few friends get "beat" into shape. It should be interesting!!

Let's see, aside from a fabulous check up in June, we also celebrated Spencer's birthday. He was 7 years old on June 24 and requested a trip to Disney World for his big day. They are running a promotion for a free trip on your birthday so we finally took the plunge and my kids and husband are no longer "disney virgins" heehehe. We had such a fun day. We waited to arrive at 3 pm so the sun was not as intense and the park was open until midnight so we had plenty of time. We all had a great time and look forward to returning, IN THE WINTER!!

The month of July was spent going, going, going!! We took in free movies at the local theatre, went swimming at the numerous pools in the area, played in the fountains, went to the beach, had a summer picnic at the school. Basically, we just played and played. What a fun summer we have had and so different from last year.
The kids have also attended a couple of VBS and Spencer attended a baseball camp at Indian River State College. We have stayed busy.

We celebrated Sydney's 5th birthday August 1. We had three little girls over for a "Chef" party. They decorated aprons with paint and fabric markers, then they kneaded and rolled out pizza dough. They were able to top their pizza with the toppings of their choice. Then they decorated cupcakes and even got to frost and decorate the birthday cake. They had a blast! Sydney turned 5 on August 5th and we took in a movie and had lunch at her favorite restaurant. Cortney had a business meeting in Memphis that week so after lunch he took off for a two night stay in Memphis. We have a camping trip planned this weekend at a local state park. They have a year round 72 degree spring so we hope that will help with the heat factor!! It should be an experience as this is the first camping trip we have taken as a family of 5! The last camping trip Sydney was a small baby, still nursing. Say a little prayer for us. We decided that we desperatley needed a vacation but what do you do when you have no money???? CAMP!!!! Cortney has been soooooo busy at work. His days have been 8am - 6pm all summer so he needs a break. Back to nature should be great for him. It will be even better if we don't have cell phone reception, yea right.

Well, the summer is winding down and the kids will be returning to school on August 24. I have NEVER dreaded school so much. I think it is because I am going to be sending my sweet little girl to kindergarten. I can hardly believe it is time for her to begin school. Please say a prayer for her little soul on August 24. I pray that we have set a solid foundation for her and that she may be able to shine a light of God on those she is in contact with. I pray the same for Spencer, who will be starting 2nd grade!!!

I will go for now as the kids are screaming to go swimming at the neighbors. I will update after the camping trip.

Love and peace to you all.

Great news from Gainesville on the June 11 check-up. Following the CT scan with contrast, Dr. Hoh reports NO new aneurysms and that the clip is in perfect position with no new growth around it! The best news we could receive. He stated that the further away from surgery I get, the less chances that a new aneurysm will develop. While waiting for the CT scan and then again in the doctors waiting room, I spoke to the funniest and nicest man who was back for his 2 year clip check-up and also to a lady who was back for a 6 month check-up. We all share the same doctor and our aneurysms are all in very similar spots. We compared scars, hair growth and side effects. It was really nice to talk to others that have been through similar experiences. I truly have a desire to begin a support group in the Treasure Coast area for aneurysm survivors as well as caregivers of aneurysm survivors. I will be in prayer about this and see what opportunities God provides.

To celebrate my one year "annie"versary I purchased a basket that I filled with crackers, chocolates, food, food, food, toothbrushes, toothpaste, playing cards, tissues, gum, etc. Cortney and I delivered the basket along with a note to the neurosurgery ICU. This is the waiting room where Cortney, Mom and Freeman waited for me and spent 48 hours. Cortney was so touched by his experience during this time and it has truly affected him more than he even knows. There was a lady in the waiting room when we visited whose husband has been there for 31 days and she is not sure when he will be leaving the ICU. He had a brain bleed that led to many other problems. She was so touched by the basket as were the others with loved ones there. We all talked about God and His mighty love and power and had a good cry together. Please keep families with ill loved ones in your prayers daily. We all too often get caught up in our daily stresses and forget the pain and troubles so many are going through.

I mowed the lawn yesterday and took the kids swimming and this morning I ran 2.4 miles. I am feeling great!! Go out and enjoy someone today! Peace and Love.

Holly

Things have been busy since Mother's Day. (btw, Sydney threw up, Brogan wet the bed all the way through the sheets and many other crazies on Mother's Day, but it was still fun) The following weekend Cortney had a conference in Sarasota so the kids and I went along and stayed at a nice place on Lido Beach. It was lots of fun swimming, going to the beach and visiting St.Armands Circle for ice cream.

The next two weeks are a complete blur. Through my blog, I met a beautiful lady who had been diagnosed with an anuerysm. Our friendship bloomed instantly and we talked several times on the telephone for hours at a time. On Thursday night, May 21 we were talking on the phone and she passed on to our Heavenly Father. I have struggled to find an answer for my placement in her life as well as an answer for why she was taken from me. Please prayer warriors, pray for her dear family which consists of a beautiful husband and 8 children along with grandchildren whom she loved dearly. Also, remember me in your prayers as I continue to struggle with God on his lesson in this matter.

The following week was the last week of pre-school for Sydney. I can not believe that my baby girl is heading off to kindergarten next year. Time is precious! Then, some great friends invited us to a time share in Orlando to "get away" for a few days. The kids enjoyed swimming, mini golf, Old Town amusement and eating lots of junk food. We returned in time for a graduation party for the best babysitter ever, Melissa Colson. We all look forward to seeing what God has in store for this exceptional young lady.

Last week was Spencer's last week of first grade. The last three days of school were filled with parties, awards ceremonies and fun. He is such a big kid now! I am so excited to have the summer with the kids. A much better summer than last year!! We are going to stay busy busy busy.

On Sunday, Cortney and I celebrated our 12 year wedding anniversary. I am so totally and incredibly blessed by this awesome man. I love him more than I could ever express! Of course, we toasted to many more 12's to come!

I will return to the doctor in Gainesville on Thursday, June 11. I will mark my one year "annie"versary June 10. That will be a big day for me. I will have a CT Scan and see my neurosurgeon to confirm that all is well. Wow! I can hardly believe that a year has passed and you guys are still out there reading my blog and praying for my family. It means more than could ever be said.WE LOVE YOU ALL!!

It is really warm in Florida and extremely dry! If the rain doesn't come soon, we will qualify as a desert. There have been brush fires in several different spots around Vero the last couple of weeks. Today we stayed cool and wet in the neighbors swimming pool. It was a beautiful, but dry, day.

If you return to the beginning of my blog posts, this journey you've been keeping up with began one year ago on May 7, 2008! It was Friday night, 7:30pm, mother's day weekend that my doctor called to inform me they found an aneurysm on my CT scan. I can hardly believe all that has transpired since that call. I am so thankful to my God, my family and my dear friends for the love and support to see me through. I pray that each of you has learned from my experience and you are enjoying every day as much as me. As I type this blog, Spencer and Cortney are in the kitchen baking a mother's day cake. The excitement and craziness in the house is so fun. Thank you God for great days!!!!!!!

Mother's, have a fun and crazy day with your kids! LET LOOSE!

The month of April was a whirlwind of activity and it got away from me without one post. Sorry. We had spring break, Easter, spring carnivals, a visit from my dad, etc. etc. So, here we are in May and it is just as busy. On Thursday, May 7, my grandmother will be celebrating her 93rd birthday. My aunt is surprising her with a visit from New Hampshire and we have a small dinner celebration planned. This week is also teacher appreciation week so the kids have special activities planned each day of the week for their teachers.

The weather is warming in south Florida and I finally had to break down and turn on the ac. I hold off as long as possible because I would be happy to open all doors and windows, crank the ceiling fans on high and be hot. Not so with Cortney. They keep his office so cold at work that he comes home and 78 feels like 100. We went to the beach and swimming over the weekend so we are gearing up for summer fun. I am looking forward to having a great summer with the kids. I am going to be OUT OF BED!! Yea.

Lucie is doing very well except she is a piddler! I have never had this problem with a puppy and not sure how to correct the problem. When she meets new people or gets excited, watch out! Anyway, I am taking her to obdience classes and they begin on Thursday night. I will miss the first meeting but have a make-up class and then 5 more weeks of class. Hopefully we will both learn alot.

Cortney was sooo excited that he had grant money to pay for his first trip out of the country as a University of Florida professor. The passport was in, rooms booked, plane tickets confirmed all for the trip..........to Veracruz, MEXICO May 24-30!!Needless to say, the trip has been postponed. They have rescheduled for September. We shall see.

Happy Spring!!

I have been amazed how many friends have called, e-mailed or dropped by after reading the blog about Lucie, our new puppy. It is so incredible that you all continue to keep up with my progress and our family! I am happy that you enjoy reading the blog and I hope to keep you more updated. Here goes...

Cortney traveled to Gainesville on Tuesday to receive an award for Superior Accomplishmets. He was nominated by the Director of the research center where he works. On Wednesday, the Director of the School of Forest Resources and Conservation visited Ft.Pierce from Gainesville for Cortney's annual review. He is so busy and continues to put his all into his aquaculture endeavors. The same day, Sydney had Focus Day at Maitland Farm, her preschool. Brogan and I attended and had a fun time catching lady bugs, feeding the farm animals, riding trikes, making crafts, looking at the gardens, etc. After focus day the three of us visited Spencer's class to teach a Math Superstars lesson. It was a busy and fun filled day. Upon arriving home in the afternoon we were greated by a massive swarm of bees that were trying to take up residence in our walls. YIKES!!! Thankfully, we have a great entomologist friend who battled the bees and scared (or killed) them away!! Today was school for all three kids in the morning and a grocery trip for me, then kid pick up, lunch and Sydney's gymnastics. Tomorrow TGIF!!!! Sydney, Brogan and I plan to visit Addy, Syd's best friend, mid morning and go swimming. Spencer will have baseball practice at 7pm and then Saturday is clean-up day at his school. Yes, in between it all we are walking Lucie and giving her LOTs of puppy playtime. The kids continue to be over the top about her. I hope to get pictures of Lucie posted soon. We are having slight computer problems with pictures but hope to have it worked out in the near future.

Everyone enjoy the weekend!!!

Happy St. Patrick's Day

It has been a long time since the last post. That is because I am doing so well that I suddenly never stop, plus our computer has been on the blink for some time. Since we last spoke Cortney and I had the privilege of visiting Seattle. He had an aquaculture conference and it just so happened that my aunt was going to be visiting from New Hampshire and volunteered to keep the kids for us. Awesome! We had a wonderful time and it was a much needed trip away from the kids, husband/wife time. Seattle is a beautiful and very fun city and I look forward to visiting again. The week after we arrived home, my brother, sister-in-law and 6 month old nephew Kolby came to visit. They stayed for a week and we had a really good time.

The kids are busy as usual. Spencer's baseball season began tonight with the first practice. Sydney is still in gymnastics and Brogan loves his TOT class and got to play with green shaving cream today. He was a mess when I arrived to pick him up.

Last, but not least! It seems just when I am getting control of my brain again, I lose it. We adopted a new puppy last week. Lucie was adopted from the humane society and is basically a mutt. They labeled her a "boxer mix." She is suppose to be 11 months old but I am not sure she is that old. I think her puppy ways are much more fun and funny to the kids than me. Imagine that!!! It has been crazy around here for a week but I think she is going to be a great dog. We are going to be having a basic obedience class on Thursday and go from there. The kids love her so much. Our previous dog, Beamish, was 15 years old and we had to have him put to sleep 2/14/08. The kids longed for a new dog since that day. So, here we go again.

I hope everyone out in cyper space is doing great. Hope to hear from you soon. All my love!!

Things are going great in Florida except it is a little chilly. We have experienced a very cool winter this year. It is fun to have some brisk days and nights though. I made chili for dinner last night and we visited the neighbors because they have a wood burning fireplace. They had one of the 3-4 fires they have annually! It was fun to sit in front of the fire and listen to the crackles. Today is very windy and in the 50's. That's very cold for south Florida.

Cortney is still very busy at work. He is closing in on the end of his 4th year at UF and will be approaching the tenure process soon. He has 9 employees and many research projects going full swing. We never know if he will be home a 3pm or 11pm. He continues to LOVE his work so that is what matters. Thankfully he has a job to get up for each morning! Spencer is enjoying his new school and is staying busy in the first grade. He is reading chapter books and is so excited that he can now read a chapter a night. Sydney loves preschool and gymnastics. She is an angel. Brogan is wide open and definitely the family comedian.

Thoughts to leave you with: "don't be afraid of dying, be afraid of never living" Selma Hayek on the Today show.

We are just returning from a trip to Nebraska to visit Cortney's family. His parents, sister and family, and brother and family live in Lincoln. We arrived on Friday night to the welcome sight of a couple of inches of snow on the ground and much warmer temps than they had been experiencing. We stopped to eat on the way from the airport and I didn't think I would get the kids into the restaurant because they just wanted to touch and step in the snow. Spencer was making snow angels in the front yard at 11pm!!They were so excited as they do not remember the snows during our short time in Illinois. The weekend was filled with sledding, building snowmen, ice skating, Big Red basketball, playing with the cousins, musuems and many other great family activities. We had such a fabulous time. I am happy to say that I held up fantastically! My fatique is incredibly better. We returned to Florida and really cold temps on Weds. night. Thankfully it is warming up here today and it's in the
70's. We all have the sniffles but should start recovering once it begins to heat up this weekend. I will try and post some pictures of the trip later tonight. I am off the get Spencer at school.

I am improving more and more every day. I have experienced some intense depression and even worse than depression, anxiety. Open brain surgery suddenly brings you face to face with a mortal life. Then, one month later to be diagnosed with the most fatal form of skin cancer kinda tops the "mortal life" cake. I experienced panic attacks that many times would have sent me to the hospital, if not for my dear level headed husband who would step in and reassure me that it was only panic and I was going to be fine. I am happy to say that the depression is almost completely gone. Thanks be to God, as I have prayed and prayed to be released from the holds of depression. Also, the panic attacks are MUCH better and less. I am now seeing them for what they are and can involve myself in activity to rechannel my thoughts. Thanks to all of you for your prayers. I will soon be able to report my new "normal" has been reached. Holly is returning!!

Wow! January 5 already. Spencer is back in school today and Sydney and Brogan are bummed that they don't return until tomorrow. It is time for things to return to the normal routine. It is quite around here without Spencer and it has been a fun break and I enjoyed having him around. It is so hot here today and Sydney and Brogan have been perfecting their bicycling skills. Sydney with no training wheels and Brogan on the trike. We have just come in to cool off and Sydney wanted her nails painted.

I was contacted by my church to write a very brief summary of my testimony this past year for the monthly church newsletter. I am posting it in this blog for you to read. I hope you enjoy.

The view I had of life and the view I had of God’s presence in my life changed dramatically in 2008. The change began with signs that God provided my body. God gave me many signs something was not right, I made multiple visits to doctors and all the tests results were normal. God continued to give me “new signs”, and I did not want to continue to go back to doctors for more tests. During my prayer time one morning, after I had a month long headache that never ceased, God spoke to me and said “I have given you a headache for an entire month, what more do I have to do to get you to go back to the doctor”. I made an appointment that morning and the length of the headache was concern enough for the doctor to order a CT scan. This test found an un-ruptured brain aneurysm which would require open brain surgery to “clip” and prevent what could have been devastating and fatal if the aneurysm ruptured. God led us to Shands hospital in Gainesville through a church member. I was told it would be months to get an appointment there to see a doctor. However God is so amazing, within a week I was seen by a leading neurosurgeon that specialized in aneurysms with no outside referral! The surgery was scheduled for two weeks later.

As we tried to prepare for the following two weeks, we had many questions. First, what we would do with our three small children during this time. The anxiety I felt over this issue was even with pending open brain surgery. Then, the telephone rang one night and it was a sister of Christ who had heard about our situation and wanted to help. We did not know her that well personally, only through church, but we knew she was sent by God. No one could call that we would feel more comfortable and safe leaving our children with for several days, God sent the perfect person to ease my fears. The surgery and recovery period that was ahead was long and hard. However, God never left me and never stopped reminding me He was with me. He sent the perfect family member to stay for 2 weeks to help. Through Him, our wonderful church family brought over 60 meals. Incredibly, the meals ended on the exact day that I actually felt like cooking!! He sent countless sisters in Christ to care for our kids so Cortney could have a brief break. On one very bad day I received a card from a church sister who was out of state and had heard the news. The card read “There are greater thing than you can imagine ahead of you-and there’s a great God walking beside you. I know his purpose is at work within you as He’s guiding your life with wisdom and love”. The card even sang “How Great is Our God” when opened. Another particularly bad day, when I found myself questioning life, I received a card with the quote “never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God”. I could list many other incidents of how God made his presence known, how He spoke to me but it would take a book. I am 7 months post-op and God continues through a variety of venues to let me know He is walking with me every day. In closing, I pray you will see more clearly, as I have, when God is speaking to you. I leave you with the hope that God provided me the morning of surgery. Hope when I awoke in the dark hotel room, feeling scared and alone, hope that comes from knowing who is in control of my life and destiny. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. Jerimiah 29:11

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! Goodbye 2008 and Hello 2009!!!!! It has been a year of many trials yet also a year of great learning. I have truly learned the peace and love that only God can provide. I understand in ways I did not imagine coming into 2008 that God will never leave me or forsake me and He is guiding my life. What a great lesson to learn. I continue to see him working in my life daily. The card I received last week on a really bad day. A card from a friend at church just to say she's thinking of me. This girl has 3 kids with one on the way and she took time out during the Christmas rush to send me a thinking of you card. Can you imagine!! God provided what I needed at just the right time. He's great like that. Here's another one: I have become a member of a brain forum for aneurysm survivors/caregivers. I have been very busy and had not logged on since October. I decided to take a moment and check it out one afternoon and there was a message from someone looking for a doctor in Florida. I immediately responded with the name of my doctor and the hospital. I checked my messages later that day and had a private message from her stating "you are the answer to my prayer!!" She had been told of my doctor long ago by someone and could not remember his name until I jolted her memory. The only thing she remembered was that it sounds like Christmas. My doctor is Dr. Hoh :^) Well, there's more I could share but it is time to retire for the evening. I will be in touch soon. Until then, Happy New Year and Peace be with you!