We are just returning from a trip to Nebraska to visit Cortney's family. His parents, sister and family, and brother and family live in Lincoln. We arrived on Friday night to the welcome sight of a couple of inches of snow on the ground and much warmer temps than they had been experiencing. We stopped to eat on the way from the airport and I didn't think I would get the kids into the restaurant because they just wanted to touch and step in the snow. Spencer was making snow angels in the front yard at 11pm!!They were so excited as they do not remember the snows during our short time in Illinois. The weekend was filled with sledding, building snowmen, ice skating, Big Red basketball, playing with the cousins, musuems and many other great family activities. We had such a fabulous time. I am happy to say that I held up fantastically! My fatique is incredibly better. We returned to Florida and really cold temps on Weds. night. Thankfully it is warming up here today and it's in the
70's. We all have the sniffles but should start recovering once it begins to heat up this weekend. I will try and post some pictures of the trip later tonight. I am off the get Spencer at school.

I am improving more and more every day. I have experienced some intense depression and even worse than depression, anxiety. Open brain surgery suddenly brings you face to face with a mortal life. Then, one month later to be diagnosed with the most fatal form of skin cancer kinda tops the "mortal life" cake. I experienced panic attacks that many times would have sent me to the hospital, if not for my dear level headed husband who would step in and reassure me that it was only panic and I was going to be fine. I am happy to say that the depression is almost completely gone. Thanks be to God, as I have prayed and prayed to be released from the holds of depression. Also, the panic attacks are MUCH better and less. I am now seeing them for what they are and can involve myself in activity to rechannel my thoughts. Thanks to all of you for your prayers. I will soon be able to report my new "normal" has been reached. Holly is returning!!

Wow! January 5 already. Spencer is back in school today and Sydney and Brogan are bummed that they don't return until tomorrow. It is time for things to return to the normal routine. It is quite around here without Spencer and it has been a fun break and I enjoyed having him around. It is so hot here today and Sydney and Brogan have been perfecting their bicycling skills. Sydney with no training wheels and Brogan on the trike. We have just come in to cool off and Sydney wanted her nails painted.

I was contacted by my church to write a very brief summary of my testimony this past year for the monthly church newsletter. I am posting it in this blog for you to read. I hope you enjoy.

The view I had of life and the view I had of God’s presence in my life changed dramatically in 2008. The change began with signs that God provided my body. God gave me many signs something was not right, I made multiple visits to doctors and all the tests results were normal. God continued to give me “new signs”, and I did not want to continue to go back to doctors for more tests. During my prayer time one morning, after I had a month long headache that never ceased, God spoke to me and said “I have given you a headache for an entire month, what more do I have to do to get you to go back to the doctor”. I made an appointment that morning and the length of the headache was concern enough for the doctor to order a CT scan. This test found an un-ruptured brain aneurysm which would require open brain surgery to “clip” and prevent what could have been devastating and fatal if the aneurysm ruptured. God led us to Shands hospital in Gainesville through a church member. I was told it would be months to get an appointment there to see a doctor. However God is so amazing, within a week I was seen by a leading neurosurgeon that specialized in aneurysms with no outside referral! The surgery was scheduled for two weeks later.

As we tried to prepare for the following two weeks, we had many questions. First, what we would do with our three small children during this time. The anxiety I felt over this issue was even with pending open brain surgery. Then, the telephone rang one night and it was a sister of Christ who had heard about our situation and wanted to help. We did not know her that well personally, only through church, but we knew she was sent by God. No one could call that we would feel more comfortable and safe leaving our children with for several days, God sent the perfect person to ease my fears. The surgery and recovery period that was ahead was long and hard. However, God never left me and never stopped reminding me He was with me. He sent the perfect family member to stay for 2 weeks to help. Through Him, our wonderful church family brought over 60 meals. Incredibly, the meals ended on the exact day that I actually felt like cooking!! He sent countless sisters in Christ to care for our kids so Cortney could have a brief break. On one very bad day I received a card from a church sister who was out of state and had heard the news. The card read “There are greater thing than you can imagine ahead of you-and there’s a great God walking beside you. I know his purpose is at work within you as He’s guiding your life with wisdom and love”. The card even sang “How Great is Our God” when opened. Another particularly bad day, when I found myself questioning life, I received a card with the quote “never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God”. I could list many other incidents of how God made his presence known, how He spoke to me but it would take a book. I am 7 months post-op and God continues through a variety of venues to let me know He is walking with me every day. In closing, I pray you will see more clearly, as I have, when God is speaking to you. I leave you with the hope that God provided me the morning of surgery. Hope when I awoke in the dark hotel room, feeling scared and alone, hope that comes from knowing who is in control of my life and destiny. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. Jerimiah 29:11

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! Goodbye 2008 and Hello 2009!!!!! It has been a year of many trials yet also a year of great learning. I have truly learned the peace and love that only God can provide. I understand in ways I did not imagine coming into 2008 that God will never leave me or forsake me and He is guiding my life. What a great lesson to learn. I continue to see him working in my life daily. The card I received last week on a really bad day. A card from a friend at church just to say she's thinking of me. This girl has 3 kids with one on the way and she took time out during the Christmas rush to send me a thinking of you card. Can you imagine!! God provided what I needed at just the right time. He's great like that. Here's another one: I have become a member of a brain forum for aneurysm survivors/caregivers. I have been very busy and had not logged on since October. I decided to take a moment and check it out one afternoon and there was a message from someone looking for a doctor in Florida. I immediately responded with the name of my doctor and the hospital. I checked my messages later that day and had a private message from her stating "you are the answer to my prayer!!" She had been told of my doctor long ago by someone and could not remember his name until I jolted her memory. The only thing she remembered was that it sounds like Christmas. My doctor is Dr. Hoh :^) Well, there's more I could share but it is time to retire for the evening. I will be in touch soon. Until then, Happy New Year and Peace be with you!